One of the common ways we create distance or close hearts in our relationships is by failing to discern between triggers and reactions.

You can often feel irritated or insecure about something. We have been encouraged and educated to try to escape or avoid emotional pain. So, we will use a quick reaction trying to avoid that uncomfortable feeling.

That reaction is often damaging to relationships. Perhaps blaming the other, or trying to change him. reproaches. Complain. Perhaps self-critical. Ways we’ve learned trying to get rid of the feeling. But it doesn’t really work. Sometimes we can get some relief. But, in fact, those do not create healthy and nurturing relationships.

When we are willing, we can bring awareness to the moment we get triggered. Right between the trigger and the reaction. Before that reaction we can be attentive to the feelings and sensations that arise in the body at that moment.

This small break in the automatic mechanism brings an opening to healthier and more nutritious alternatives for the relationship with yourself and with the other. You can then directly address any relationship issues you may have. But the disturbance of the unconscious automatic reactions that have not really brought anything good for you and for the other will be reduced if not completely disappeared.

In short, a small stop between the trigger and the reaction. In order to offer space and know what you are feeling. Quick reactions are often ways of trying to get rid of what you are feeling that create more distance or pain.

So good luck with it and enjoy the benefits. If you want to explore more or go deeper, you can contact me and I will be happy to offer you support.